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This week, I address another conflict resolution question that came from an audience member at a recent presentation. “Is it a good tactic to avoid the conflict while the things cooled down and talk about it later with a clear and open mind to others position?” I believe the person is suggesting the ‘conflict resolution’ session be ‘avoided’ until things cooled down and not the conflict should be avoided. I don’t believe any conflict should be avoided, good or bad. It should always be managed, which may involve some type of intervention if it escalates. [Related: 5 Tips to Manage the Storming Phase of Group Development] As I was attempting to facilitate the resolution of a conflict between two clients, Mike and Frank, I had on a wilderness expedition it became clear to me this was not the right time. The conflict had been brewing for a few days and was gradually escalating in intensity. Their behavior was starting to affect the whole team, making everyone feel uncomfortable when Mike and Frank were around each other. As the leader, I knew their behavior couldn’t go on if our team was going to perform at its best, which would be needed to achieve our lofty goals. I wanted to resolve the conflict so I brought the two guys together to run through a conflict resolution model (download a detailed description of the model). The first step in the exercise is the Ventilation stage, where both parties have an opportunity to vent all their frustrations by detailing the exact effect that other person’s behavior is having on them. It is important...
As a leader, you spend most of your time keeping others accountable for their action and results but who is keeping you accountable? Are you at the top of your organization, department, project or even household? If you are, you probably don’t have someone keeping you accountable on a weekly or even monthly basis. Sure, you may have overarching stakeholders to please but they are usually focused more on the end result. Here are 2 ways leaders can keep themselves accountable: Accountability Partner I first learned about the idea of an accountability partner from Tom Stoyan of the Coaching in Sales Institute while attending his session at a CAPS Convention a few years ago. The idea is pretty simple: you connect with a person who is also interested in staying accountable and meet with them on regularly scheduled basis. The main purpose of these meetings is to address previous goals and set new ones. The meetings are also a good time to use your partner as a sounding board for new ideas or challenging issues you are facing. The accountability partner is not a mentor but a peer, typically at a similar stage as you are in your career. I have had the same partner now for 4 years and we meet about every 4 weeks, depending on scheduling, for about 60 minutes. Knowing that each month I will have to update her on the progress of my goals is often the push I need to accomplish them. A year ago, to further incentivize completing our monthly goals, we introduced a penalty. We usually have 3 monthly goals and...
If you are an excellent leader, I bet you were an excellent follower. You see the traits for a quality leader aren’t that different than the traits of a quality follower. We are all followers in some part of our life… In the rush to the top, eager leaders may balk at the role of a follower, downplaying its importance and become impatient with the role. We Are All Followers What these want-to-be leaders need to realize is that even the most senior leaders were and still are followers in different aspects of their life, be it in their family, sports teams, volunteer groups or a church role. This is a good thing because they are still learning to be a better leader by being a good follower. The term follower often gets a bum wrap on any team but in order to have a team and a leader, you must have followers. Followers play a critical role for a leader. Just as leaders can learn to become better through communication skill development, mentoring and role-play training, followers need some training and direction as well to be productive team members. Difference Between Leading and Following Many followers want to be leaders some day and in this pursuit, they may sabotage their chances of ever becoming a quality leader because they feel there is a large difference between leading and following. When I discuss followership in my leadership and team development retreats, I will get the group to brainstorm the traits of an excellent follower on a flip chart. Once they feel the list is complete, I will turn the...
