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Shawn Stratton works with organizations to strengthen leadership skills that translate into powerful teams. Founder of the LiveMore Group, an organization that helps people maximize their potential and productivity, Shawn has designed presentations and retreats for both small businesses and large corporations, offering teams of all sizes the inspiration and tools to flourish in this unpredictable, exciting economic environment.
How to Deal with High Conflict People like a Champ
One of the most mentally challenging expeditions I ever led was with a client who had a high conflict and disruptive personality. I didn’t experience any of the usual things that make wilderness expeditions extra challenging. No one was physically injured, the weather was not grim, and we had plenty of food. What made it so difficult on me was the mental anguish myself and the rest of the team went through dealing with one client. High conflict and disruptive personalities usually are two different traits displayed by people. These challenging people typically display one or the other but not usually both. Unfortunately, this particular client displayed both. I highlight this story in my book TEAMS ON THE EDGE. (Receive a free copy of the eBook here) Below I will highlight the specific traits of these personalities and some courses of action you can take to manage them. Dramatic Traits Associated With High Conflict Behavior Include: Blaming others All or nothing behavior Not self-aware Explosive emotion Intense focus on imagined slights Passive aggressive behavior Anti-social behavior Course of Action: Listen, Maintain Consistency and Objectivity Create Structure Reframe Create Consequences: Seek to engender shared responsibility for problem solving When the person approaches you with aggressive language and tone about a conflict, I recommend you use the BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) technique Bill Eddy, president of the High Conflict Institute developed, in response. The initial conversation in any conflict is critical if the situation is to be resolved successfully. To see the BIFF technique, which can also be used in an email, demonstrated check out this short video. Dealing with...
Why Pet Peeves Are Killing Your Team, And What To Do About It?
Could you be happier at work? Could you be more effective in your job? If you answered yes to either of these questions, there is probably someone or something that is affecting your happiness and effectiveness. Your ability to do your job is not holding you back. It is your ability to get along with others. Most people have no idea the affect their behavior has on others. Over time, our workplace quirks accumulate and chip away at goodwill. Pet peeves in the workplace initially produce only a mild annoyance, but over time can produce a much more negative emotional response, in turn greatly affecting your happiness and effectiveness. Research from the International Association of Administrative Professionals into workplace pet peeves divided their finding into social and environmental annoyances. Topping their list of social pet peeves were coworkers’ irritating habits and disruptive office gossip, while uncontrollable room temperatures, noise and unacceptable air quality topped the list of environmental concerns. Here are the top 5 social pet peeves in the workplace. Co-worker’s Irritating Habit: 36% Office Gossip: 25% Overbearing/Difficult Boss: 25% Foul Language: 18% Speakerphones: 12% Further research in the Journal of Social Psychology found that of the co-workers irritating habits, the top frustrations were smacking gum, mumbling, not listening, complaining, uncleanliness, and being late. The major problem with fixing these social pet peeves is the person performing the annoying behavior, in most cases, has no idea their actions are bothering you. Sadly, your behavior is probably affecting someone else as well and you have no idea. To see more common workplace pet peeves check out this list of hilarious and...
Don’t Make the Mistake of Treating your Team Members This Way
Life is not fair. How many times did you hear that growing up? “People expect their leaders to help them to achieve the common task, to build the synergy of teamwork, and to respond to individuals and meet their needs” ― John Adair I often get questions on how to deal with people in certain situations in leadership interacting or communicating with a team, such as what ratio of positive to constructive feedback to give people. The answer and with many questions in leadership is “it depends”. There are few hard and fast rules to leadership (Marshall Goldsmith highlights a few here) but many gray areas because you are dealing with people and people are different and ever-changing and thank goodness for that. The answer to the feedback question is it depends on the person. Some of us need more praise than others for the feedback to be absorbed and applied and others need just a little. Treating Them Fairly Doesn’t Mean Treating Them The Same. How do you treat your team members differently without upsetting other team members? The answer is to treat them as individuals, not a generic group. As I discussed in this post, teams are built one relationship at a time. People have different needs, performance levels, personalities, work styles, motivations, and goals. As a leader, you need to treat your team members the way they need and want to be treated to feel appreciated and empowered in whatever message you are conveying. Once you take this approach, the team members won’t be concerned about how you are treating others because their needs are being met....
Shawn Stratton, Leadership Motivational Speaker and Consultant
“His use of story telling, humor and photography delivered a powerful message on the importance of finding our true passion as an indicator of success. ” -Ian Shortall read more
